Friday, 15 September 2017

So Fresh & So Clean

As Freshers week is fast approaching, I thought I'd share some tips that I could've done with myself 4 years ago. It can be a rough time - I'm not going to sugar coat it. You might find yourself playing a game of shithead where the prize is a luxury can of Heinz beans - oh yes, for the next three years anything not Tesco's own is considered luxury. Or you may find that bloke in your screenwriting class hella cute, until you realise he uses empty pot noodle pots as mugs.

#1 Sign up to loads of societies at the freshers fair, even if it means joining a my favourite colour is yellow society when your favourite colour is in fact blue. Grab the free sh#t, go home, never answer your phone or door again. Become a master doodler with your new array of free pens!

#2 Add your roommates and a couple of local taxi firm numbers in your phone before leaving prees. There's nothing worse than loosing the gang in a club and having no way of reaching them.

#3 Freshers flu is real. Keep strepsils, lemsip, a bottle of water and paras in a box under your bed.

#4 If you don't trust drunk you, take your sober budget for the night out in cash - leave your card at home.

#5 Safe sex.

#6 Don't go out boozing on an empty stomach.

#7 Take pictures of whiteboards. (Put phone on silent first.)

#8 Homer Simpson was right - you don't win friends with salad. You do win friends with 2 for Tuesday at Dominos. Equally as impressive is being the guy who says 'I do' when asked if anyone has a pack of cards / lighter / bottle opener.

#9 That leads me to my next tip. First student loan purchase: bottle opener key ring lol.

#10 80% of success is just showing up. Be in the room where it happens.

#11 If you do happen to miss a lecture. DON'T ask the lecturer whether you missed anything important. They're all important.

#12 'It's safe, trust me' is often famous last words.

#13 Deodorant.

#14 Don't be the drunkest guy in the room. A good rule of thumb is one glass of water for every bev.

#15 Poor people spend time to save money. Rich people spent money to save time. Cook in batches at home and freeze for the week ahead.

#16 If you have the pilot season of a TV show, a children's book and a play all due on the same day, don't start them 3 days before deadline...

#17 Call mum.

#18 If you're crap with money, make a weekly food budget and on payday buy 4 Tesco gift cards with said amount on each.

#19 Woks can double up as a saucepan and frying pan.

#20 FBGM